I LOVE this blog!!

And I love this woman. Veronica Monet's a dear person, a great friend, and one of the most amazing people I know.

I just discovered her blog via a listserve I belong to, and was very pleased to read her musings on everything from Arnold Schwarzenegger's "man package" to PeTA's penchant for murdering family pets.

Thanks for the great reads, Veronica!

Enjoy her blog.

Virtual Chains

OK- so I am going to participate in a chain-letter-blogging-thingy that I am completely new to. But I am always up for new things, and I haven't done anything fun yet here. As a matter of fact, I have been far too serious, and even morose.

So here's my attempt at lightening up!

I've been sent this by AH, who was sent it by Ptr (go to his page to see the rules).

My image is above.

Bulging. Voluptuous. Complex. Growing. Pulsating. Protruding.

Amanda, Vivien, Kathleen, Victoria, Ava

The media, gender, and representation

Originally Posted on March 14, 2008 by existentialhedonist on boundnotgagged.com

Yegads!

I was recently reading the comments on a post here, and noticed one that Amanda made:

“Someone needs to dig up some of Spitzer’s childhood friends."

And then it hit me: in this entire media circus, not once has anyone ever brought up Spitzer’s childhood.

But that seems to be all they can manage to talk about when it comes to Kristen. They all talk about how she came from a broken home, had substance issues, and so on. They tsk tsk about how she “fell into the wrong line of work,” how she must have been abused as a child, and that perhaps if she had been able to properly attend to the various psychological issues her childhood had wrought upon her, she may not have been a prostitute today. And that once she attends to them, she should be just fine- she’ll become enlightened and can finally get out of this line of work (because loads of us are eager to leave a job that pays $4300 an hour to have sex with powerful men). They wonder where it all went wrong. (Again- what’s wrong with a job that pays $4300 an hour to have sex with powerful men??)

But what about Spitzer? Why is his childhood and homelife not of interest to the media? Perhaps he had some “childhood abuse issues” which led him into the “wrong line of work.” Perhaps there was something in his childhood that created some disconnect whereby as an adult he came to see no wrong in busting escort agencies with one hand while taking advantage of their services with the other. I mean, this stuff has to come from childhood issues around self-righteousness, propriety, and entitlement.

I think the media’s obsession with Kristen’s childhood ties directly into the prohibitionists’ habit of using the term “girls” when referring to sex workers who are between 18 and 28. It seems to be a form of infantilizing women when they exercise their sexual and economic autonomy. It reminds me of the Swedish model, and it makes me want to wretch.

How about talking about her strength in overcoming a challenging youth to grow up and land a job that paid her for one hour more than most of her critics will see in a month? How about talking about her strength in the face of this onslaught of media attention and scrutiny? How she hasn’t cowered off into some corner- how she has kept her myspace page up, and how so many of the comments there are full of love and support in the face of this?

Kristen deserves to be seen for the amazing and strong woman she is. The obsession with her childhood is simply a cheap ploy to diminish the inherent fortitude of a person who faces challenges head on and rises above and beyond to become a creative entrepreneur beholden to nobody but herself. This is the hallmark of successful sex workers everywhere, and something that must be quashed by society lest more of us become such entrepreneurs.

I think it is important for the media and people like Farley to portray us as broken and weak people. It is ironic that some of them actually do this in the name of “feminism.” The truth is that the ”abused girl” thing has to be played up to create a smokescreen to hide the reality: sex workers like Kristen don’t need you or anyone else to validate them. That is power. And that is dangerous.

Sex workers continue to be the strongest, wisest, and most resourceful humans I know. They have no bosses but themselves, and they are truer to their convictions than anyone in any other profession I have ever met.

Sex Workers Rule!

Angry White Man?

I have just come across this article via one of my online communities, and needless to say, the hair stands on the back of my neck when I read it. Some choice excerpts:

“Press ‘one’ for English” is a curse-word to him.

So, which word, exactly, is a curse-word? Press, One, or English? Perhaps Mr. Hubbell meant "curse-phrase".

Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina — he got his people together and
got the hell out, then went back in to rescue those too helpless and stupid to
help themselves...

Oy Vay. So Mr. Hubbell's "Angry White Man" believes that people who drowned in Katrina were "helpless and stupid". Such as the elderly, poor, etc. How disgusting.

He knows that his wife is more emotional than rational, and he guides the family in a rational manner.

Of course he guides the family...he's da man, after all. UGH. Mr. AWM seems to have a lot in common with some of his Muslim brothers.

He’s not a racist, but he is annoyed and disappointed when people of certain backgrounds exhibit behavior that typifies the worst stereotypes of their race. He’s willing to give everybody a fair chance if they work hard, play by the rules and learn English.

I hope Mr. AWM is as critical of the fact that this entire article typifies the worst stereotypes of his race. Perhaps he had better also brush up on his English so that he doesn't mistake a phrase for a word in the future.

He also votes, and the Angry White Man loathes Hillary Clinton. Her voice reminds him of a shovel scraping a rock. He recoils at the mere sight of her on television. Her very image disgusts him, and he cannot fathom why anyone would want her as their leader. It’s not that she is a woman.

Yep. This is par for the course. Of course they hate Hillary. She represents the world that is coming (with equanimity of the sexes and a move far away from "might makes right")- the exact opposite of what the "Angry White Man" wants: women who are seen and not heard, speak only when spoken to, and are barefoot and preggers in the kitchen, while he with the biggest guns wins.

This article sounds like a call to all disenfranchised macho freaks. Poor fellas. Those men are feeling like dinosaurs (and they are dinosaurs). Their paradigm is flapping around like a fish out of water- gasping violently as it realizes its days are numbered.

Thank Goddess.

Deprogramming

There is an issue I have noticed with fellow sex workers- a bizarre relationship with their work, society's perspective on female sexuality and commercial sex, and the way they reconcile these internally.

I have met several ladies in the industry who ended up hating men. It hurt my heart to hear them say that and behave that way- a bitter, self-destructive thing. In conversations with them, it always seemed to come down to the issues they face "swimming upstream" as sex workers in a not-sex-friendly society. The men were easy targets for their frustrations.

When someone is constantly telling you as a girl how horrible sexually independent women are- sluts, whores, etc.- it is hard to not internalize that. It is also hard to reconcile how we are supposed to be sexually with how we are or want to be sexually (if that differs from what we are taught is acceptable). We are taught to button up our blouses, wear muted make-up and wait for Mr. Right to gallop in on a Lippizaner and "make honest women out of us." We are stripped of our very power.

Clearly, any woman who works in the sex industry has already deviated from this norm, and has to deal with the sometimes dire consequences of her choices. But how do we deprogram our very deep socialization? We internalize various guises of guilt, shame, hatred, etc., and it is only a very few, very strong women who can deconstruct society's erroneous conclusions about unfettered female sexual autonomy.

The most horrible aspect of this socialization we've gone through is self-hatred, and the second most horrible aspect is hatred of other women.

Fealgood

I just watched the most moving video on the first responders of 9/11. I am flabbergasted at how much these heroes are suffering, with little or no help at all from the government- the very same government who told everyone the air was safe to breathe after 9/11.

One story was about a fellow named James Zadroga- a NYPD officer- who, after spending 470 hours working at ground zero, died of black lung. 3 autopsies were done in which case the examiners said the black lung was caused by breathing the air at ground zero. The New York medical examiner-after only having examined a slide- stated definitively that James did not die of any cause related to the air at ground zero. He said that Zadroga killed himself by using intravenous drugs- that he was a junkie. Michael Bloomberg said that the science says that Zadroga was not a hero.

Follow the money.

I can't tell you how disgusted I am at this.

If anyone has the means and the desire, please consider giving to the Fealgood Foundation: www.fealgoodfoundation.com

John Feal, the fellow who started the foundation, has himself given a kidney to help a fellow first responder.

Long Island Excitement- Police get the bad girls...

An old post I forgot to publish...

Looks like police on Long Island have nothing better to do than chase down women who erotically entertain gentlemen there in hotels. Police have been using Craig's List to perform sting operations during which they arrest these women (and perhaps some of the men).

Must mean that there are few robberies, rapes, murders, carjackings, etc. happening there. They seem to have ample resources and manpower to allot enough to perform these stings. Because, I suppose, them hookers are dangerous.

Oh for heaven's sake! When will this insanity stop?? Don't the citizens of Long Island think there are better things to be using public resources for than chasing down a few ladies and the gentlemen who see them? Harassing adults engaging in consensual activities that none of the citizens of Long Island (except those who participate) would even be aware of if it weren't made a prority for the police.

They are hardly bothering anyone. On the contrary- they are probably all better off for having been doing what they are doing. The men are satisfied and happy, and go on to the rest of their day with a smile for everyone. The ladies can feed their children, pay their tuition or rent, and buy groceries.

We aren't exactly living in the days of the Spanish Inquisition. Or are we?

Born Into Brothels Update

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who briefly volunteered for Kids with Cameras, and she had the pleasure of having lunch with one of the children (who is now a teen) in NYC. She told me that even though all of the kids featured in the film have benefitted from it, the organization is pretty disingenuous.

First of all, the filmmakers apparently never told the children or their families that Ms. Briski was making a documentary. She told them that she was simply filming "home movies" for personal use. Then, only after winning at the Sundance film festival did they bother to get releases signed by the people who appeared in the film, and they never explained to them what they were signing (so they were still clueless about the documentary).

The school they had built for the children was apparently turned over to a Catholic charity to run, and the teen told my friend that none of the children would want to attend such a school.

And lastly, the mother of one of the children in the film was said- in the film- to have been beaten and killed by her pimp. Well, the young teen told my friend that the boy's mother wasn't even a prostitute, much less had a pimp. She and her husband ran a liquor store, and she committed suicide. None of the children could figure out why she lied about that.

It really is disgusting. People should be held accountable for such muck- not made into heroes for it.