ExistentialHedonist

I LOVE this blog!!

2008-04-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

And I love this woman. Veronica Monet's a dear person, a great friend, and one of the most amazing people I know.

I just discovered her blog via a listserve I belong to, and was very pleased to read her musings on everything from Arnold Schwarzenegger's "man package" to PeTA's penchant for murdering family pets.

Thanks for the great reads, Veronica!

Enjoy her blog.

Virtual Chains

2008-04-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

OK- so I am going to participate in a chain-letter-blogging-thingy that I am completely new to. But I am always up for new things, and I haven't done anything fun yet here. As a matter of fact, I have been far too serious, and even morose.

So here's my attempt at lightening up!

I've been sent this by AH, who was sent it by Ptr (go to his page to see the rules).

My image is above.

Bulging. Voluptuous. Complex. Growing. Pulsating. Protruding.

Amanda, Vivien, Kathleen, Victoria, Ava

The media, gender, and representation

2008-03-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

Originally Posted on March 14, 2008 by existentialhedonist on boundnotgagged.com

Yegads!

I was recently reading the comments on a post here, and noticed one that Amanda made:

“Someone needs to dig up some of Spitzer’s childhood friends."

And then it hit me: in this entire media circus, not once has anyone ever brought up Spitzer’s childhood.

But that seems to be all they can manage to talk about when it comes to Kristen. They all talk about how she came from a broken home, had substance issues, and so on. They tsk tsk about how she “fell into the wrong line of work,” how she must have been abused as a child, and that perhaps if she had been able to properly attend to the various psychological issues her childhood had wrought upon her, she may not have been a prostitute today. And that once she attends to them, she should be just fine- she’ll become enlightened and can finally get out of this line of work (because loads of us are eager to leave a job that pays $4300 an hour to have sex with powerful men). They wonder where it all went wrong. (Again- what’s wrong with a job that pays $4300 an hour to have sex with powerful men??)

But what about Spitzer? Why is his childhood and homelife not of interest to the media? Perhaps he had some “childhood abuse issues” which led him into the “wrong line of work.” Perhaps there was something in his childhood that created some disconnect whereby as an adult he came to see no wrong in busting escort agencies with one hand while taking advantage of their services with the other. I mean, this stuff has to come from childhood issues around self-righteousness, propriety, and entitlement.

I think the media’s obsession with Kristen’s childhood ties directly into the prohibitionists’ habit of using the term “girls” when referring to sex workers who are between 18 and 28. It seems to be a form of infantilizing women when they exercise their sexual and economic autonomy. It reminds me of the Swedish model, and it makes me want to wretch.

How about talking about her strength in overcoming a challenging youth to grow up and land a job that paid her for one hour more than most of her critics will see in a month? How about talking about her strength in the face of this onslaught of media attention and scrutiny? How she hasn’t cowered off into some corner- how she has kept her myspace page up, and how so many of the comments there are full of love and support in the face of this?

Kristen deserves to be seen for the amazing and strong woman she is. The obsession with her childhood is simply a cheap ploy to diminish the inherent fortitude of a person who faces challenges head on and rises above and beyond to become a creative entrepreneur beholden to nobody but herself. This is the hallmark of successful sex workers everywhere, and something that must be quashed by society lest more of us become such entrepreneurs.

I think it is important for the media and people like Farley to portray us as broken and weak people. It is ironic that some of them actually do this in the name of “feminism.” The truth is that the ”abused girl” thing has to be played up to create a smokescreen to hide the reality: sex workers like Kristen don’t need you or anyone else to validate them. That is power. And that is dangerous.

Sex workers continue to be the strongest, wisest, and most resourceful humans I know. They have no bosses but themselves, and they are truer to their convictions than anyone in any other profession I have ever met.

Sex Workers Rule!

Angry White Man?

2008-02-17T18:23:00.000-08:00

I have just come across this article via one of my online communities, and needless to say, the hair stands on the back of my neck when I read it. Some choice excerpts:

“Press ‘one’ for English” is a curse-word to him.

So, which word, exactly, is a curse-word? Press, One, or English? Perhaps Mr. Hubbell meant "curse-phrase".

Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina — he got his people together and
got the hell out, then went back in to rescue those too helpless and stupid to
help themselves...

Oy Vay. So Mr. Hubbell's "Angry White Man" believes that people who drowned in Katrina were "helpless and stupid". Such as the elderly, poor, etc. How disgusting.

He knows that his wife is more emotional than rational, and he guides the family in a rational manner.

Of course he guides the family...he's da man, after all. UGH. Mr. AWM seems to have a lot in common with some of his Muslim brothers.

He’s not a racist, but he is annoyed and disappointed when people of certain backgrounds exhibit behavior that typifies the worst stereotypes of their race. He’s willing to give everybody a fair chance if they work hard, play by the rules and learn English.

I hope Mr. AWM is as critical of the fact that this entire article typifies the worst stereotypes of his race. Perhaps he had better also brush up on his English so that he doesn't mistake a phrase for a word in the future.

He also votes, and the Angry White Man loathes Hillary Clinton. Her voice reminds him of a shovel scraping a rock. He recoils at the mere sight of her on television. Her very image disgusts him, and he cannot fathom why anyone would want her as their leader. It’s not that she is a woman.

Yep. This is par for the course. Of course they hate Hillary. She represents the world that is coming (with equanimity of the sexes and a move far away from "might makes right")- the exact opposite of what the "Angry White Man" wants: women who are seen and not heard, speak only when spoken to, and are barefoot and preggers in the kitchen, while he with the biggest guns wins.

This article sounds like a call to all disenfranchised macho freaks. Poor fellas. Those men are feeling like dinosaurs (and they are dinosaurs). Their paradigm is flapping around like a fish out of water- gasping violently as it realizes its days are numbered.

Thank Goddess.

Deprogramming

2008-01-28T18:27:00.000-08:00

There is an issue I have noticed with fellow sex workers- a bizarre relationship with their work, society's perspective on female sexuality and commercial sex, and the way they reconcile these internally.

I have met several ladies in the industry who ended up hating men. It hurt my heart to hear them say that and behave that way- a bitter, self-destructive thing. In conversations with them, it always seemed to come down to the issues they face "swimming upstream" as sex workers in a not-sex-friendly society. The men were easy targets for their frustrations.

When someone is constantly telling you as a girl how horrible sexually independent women are- sluts, whores, etc.- it is hard to not internalize that. It is also hard to reconcile how we are supposed to be sexually with how we are or want to be sexually (if that differs from what we are taught is acceptable). We are taught to button up our blouses, wear muted make-up and wait for Mr. Right to gallop in on a Lippizaner and "make honest women out of us." We are stripped of our very power.

Clearly, any woman who works in the sex industry has already deviated from this norm, and has to deal with the sometimes dire consequences of her choices. But how do we deprogram our very deep socialization? We internalize various guises of guilt, shame, hatred, etc., and it is only a very few, very strong women who can deconstruct society's erroneous conclusions about unfettered female sexual autonomy.

The most horrible aspect of this socialization we've gone through is self-hatred, and the second most horrible aspect is hatred of other women.

Fealgood

2008-01-18T16:42:00.000-08:00

I just watched the most moving video on the first responders of 9/11. I am flabbergasted at how much these heroes are suffering, with little or no help at all from the government- the very same government who told everyone the air was safe to breathe after 9/11.

One story was about a fellow named James Zadroga- a NYPD officer- who, after spending 470 hours working at ground zero, died of black lung. 3 autopsies were done in which case the examiners said the black lung was caused by breathing the air at ground zero. The New York medical examiner-after only having examined a slide- stated definitively that James did not die of any cause related to the air at ground zero. He said that Zadroga killed himself by using intravenous drugs- that he was a junkie. Michael Bloomberg said that the science says that Zadroga was not a hero.

Follow the money.

I can't tell you how disgusted I am at this.

If anyone has the means and the desire, please consider giving to the Fealgood Foundation: www.fealgoodfoundation.com

John Feal, the fellow who started the foundation, has himself given a kidney to help a fellow first responder.

Long Island Excitement- Police get the bad girls...

2007-09-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

An old post I forgot to publish...

Looks like police on Long Island have nothing better to do than chase down women who erotically entertain gentlemen there in hotels. Police have been using Craig's List to perform sting operations during which they arrest these women (and perhaps some of the men).

Must mean that there are few robberies, rapes, murders, carjackings, etc. happening there. They seem to have ample resources and manpower to allot enough to perform these stings. Because, I suppose, them hookers are dangerous.

Oh for heaven's sake! When will this insanity stop?? Don't the citizens of Long Island think there are better things to be using public resources for than chasing down a few ladies and the gentlemen who see them? Harassing adults engaging in consensual activities that none of the citizens of Long Island (except those who participate) would even be aware of if it weren't made a prority for the police.

They are hardly bothering anyone. On the contrary- they are probably all better off for having been doing what they are doing. The men are satisfied and happy, and go on to the rest of their day with a smile for everyone. The ladies can feed their children, pay their tuition or rent, and buy groceries.

We aren't exactly living in the days of the Spanish Inquisition. Or are we?

Born Into Brothels Update

2007-09-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who briefly volunteered for Kids with Cameras, and she had the pleasure of having lunch with one of the children (who is now a teen) in NYC. She told me that even though all of the kids featured in the film have benefitted from it, the organization is pretty disingenuous.

First of all, the filmmakers apparently never told the children or their families that Ms. Briski was making a documentary. She told them that she was simply filming "home movies" for personal use. Then, only after winning at the Sundance film festival did they bother to get releases signed by the people who appeared in the film, and they never explained to them what they were signing (so they were still clueless about the documentary).

The school they had built for the children was apparently turned over to a Catholic charity to run, and the teen told my friend that none of the children would want to attend such a school.

And lastly, the mother of one of the children in the film was said- in the film- to have been beaten and killed by her pimp. Well, the young teen told my friend that the boy's mother wasn't even a prostitute, much less had a pimp. She and her husband ran a liquor store, and she committed suicide. None of the children could figure out why she lied about that.

It really is disgusting. People should be held accountable for such muck- not made into heroes for it.

Emotions and Lies

2007-08-15T03:06:00.000-07:00

You know, emotions are addictive, and the emotions of a romantic attachment are the most addictive. If we have been drinking from that cup, and suddenly someone points out that the cup is empty, we will fight tooth-and-nail to maintain our illusion that the cup is full. We want more of the drug, no matter what it takes.

And some of us go to such great lengths to fool ourselves into believing a reality we want so badly to exist that when the cup is actually filled with dirty water, we will continue to drink to our own peril. Like women who remain in abusive relationships. Because to admit that the cup is empty or filled with dirty water is very assaulting to our egos, which are most of the time built on the very lies we've been telling ourselves. So much of our imagined identities are knitted into this story we've told ourselves that it takes a very humble and strong individual to see the truth.

Then this self-delusion leaks into the rest of our lives; the more we make ourselves believe lies that make it easier to face ourselves, the easier it is to lie to us. And then an entire nation is dumbed-down and very easy to lie to. Like ours.

Born Into Brothels

2007-08-11T23:44:00.000-07:00

There was a recent discussion on one of my online communities about documentaries, and someone mentioned Born Into Brothels. I have a visceral reaction to this film, and my post below was my response:

I personally have serious issues with the way the documentary conspicuously left out the Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee (DMSC), a 60,000-member sex worker organization in the Sonagachi district of Calcutta, where the documentary was filmed. The absence of any commentary whatsoever on DMSC is highly suspicious, as is the fact that Ms. Briski paints such a drudgery-filled picture of life in the brothels, leaving the viewer with the impression that all sex workers' children must suffer so dreadfully.

Add to that the fact that surely she must not have done any research into the district before she began filming (although I find that almost impossible to believe, which makes her film even more spurious*) or she would have known about the DMSC's having established schools specifically for the children of sex workers (35 schools), as the children are usually ostracized in regular schools. (The DMSC, which was originally started under the SHIP project by Dr. Samrajit Jana, had identified schools as a core need as early as 1995 when the SHIP project began.)

Furthermore, she never requested permission from the parents of the children to film them, and deliberately kept DMSC ignorant of her project. I believe that she "overlooked" the DMSC because it would create holes in her documentary.

Lastly, I echo many critics who maintain that she perpetuates and capitalizes on the typical ethnocentric myth of white people saving brown people from themselves, and this bothers me probably more than anything else.

In short, I do not like the film.

*Ms. Briski had been in Sonagachi since 1998, originally to research and do a documentary on sex workers there. Ignorance of the DMSC, as far as I can tell, would have been impossible if she had been there for that long. In my opinion, she had a story she wanted to tell, and was going to stick to it no matter what.

Here is a quote from a gentleman who helped to work on the film:

Partha Banerjee worked on the film as an interpreter. Upon seeing the final product, and then hearing that the film had won a nomination for Best Documentary from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS, the Oscar award people), Mr. Banerjee wrote a letter to AMPAS explaining why the film should not be so recognized. His letter addresses some of the questions raised by the film. In it, he writes,

…I take issues with the often-explicit presumption by both the filmmakers and
the U.S. media personalities (including the nominators at AMPAS) that the
efforts by Ms. Briski and Mr. Kauffman were able to uplift the children from the
poverty and destitution they live in. In fact, that presumption is not true. I
visited these children a number of times during the last couple of years and
found out that almost all the children are now living even a worse life than
they were in before Ms. Briski began working with them…At the same time, their
sex worker parents believed that with so much unrestricted access to their
secretive lives they had provided to the filmmakers, and that too, so generously
(were their written consent ever requested and received by the filmmakers?),
there would be a way their children would also be sharing some of the glories
the filmmakers are now shining in. …The conjecture drawn by the makers of Born
into Brothels that it was only them that were responsible for any humanity and
benevolence doled out to these children and their parents is simply absurd.
(February 1, 2005) source

Here is a critique of the documentary by the Scarlet Alliance, a sex workers' organization in Australia:

Born Into Brothels
Born Into Brothels has won an Oscar and been seen by audiences all the world over. However, as reviewer Jenni G says below, there is nothing positive about portraying sex working mothers as abusive to their children - or purpetuating the myth that all sex workers' kids need to be 'saved.'

Here is an excellent, very in-depth review from SAMAR (South Asian Magazine for Reflection and Action). I personally love it because it mentions Spivak's and Mohanty's critique of "orientalizing Indian women as helpless, exotic, and ‘other’ in relation to normative, empowered, white Western women." (I have always wanted to write a paper using Spivak's "subaltern" discourse to critique anti-prostitution feminists' discourses.):

Born Into Saving Brothel Children
Oscar-winning documentary Born into Brothels ignores local organizing
efforts and instead gives us more images of white saviors.

Here is a critique from Dhaka's Independent:

Saving brothel children
Excerpt: The film industry's
recognition of Born into Brothels should give us all pause. Rather than tell us
something new about prostitutes in India, the filmmakers reiterate a very old
story of heroic white westerners saving poor brown children who don't know any
better than to persist in their dead-end lives. The popularity of the film in
the U.S. indicates its excellent uses of melodrama, its high production values,
and its tight narrative.

Unfortunately, this popularity also points to the fact that a very old and
palatable tale is being told about prostitution, a tale in which prostitution
and violence are synonymous, sex workers are unfit parents, and the only hope
for children living in red light districts with their families is to be taken
away from them by non-sex worker adults who necessarily know better...

Being Holly

2007-07-31T02:11:00.000-07:00

I love being Holly. She excites me! I wake up each day knowing that I am Holly, and it makes me happy. I am convinced that courtesanship is an art, and a tradition that I am proud to carry on.

I have been doing quite a bit of reading on courtesans in history, and have come to some interesting thoughts. First of all, the times in which courtesans existed are all pretty similar: They involved an increasingly wide gap between the rich and the poor, which we are seeing today. Second, courtesans were exceptional women and men (oh, yes, there were male courtesans!) who had experiences in life which made them fascinating people able to earn far more for their attentions than your average girl-or boy-for-hire. Their attributes were things like intelligence, quick wittedness, courage and audacity, combined with their hard-earned ability to feel very deeply (often caused by pain or hardship). They were very fast learners as far as the protocol of the social circles to which they aspired. Most did not come from wealth or standing, but rose from lives of impoverishment and difficulty, to eventually achieve a place in history.

Today, courtesans are very much similar, but also pretty different. Susan Griffin, Author of "The Book of Courtesans" insists there are no loger courtesans, but I disagree. I feel on some levels I am a courtesan, and I identify greatly with the stories of many of the women I have read about. However, I also understand that courtesanship will necessarily be different today for several reasons- not the least of which is the fact that women are no longer required to follow certain strictures of conduct. More on this later...

Slander on O'Reilly

2007-03-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

Like that's news..lol!

Anyways, O'Reilly has recently slandered the performers in the Sex Workers Art Show tour. A performer who is also a blogger on the Huffington Post blogs about the latest O'Reilly outrage. See O'Reilly video here. See blogger's story here.

I know I am not the only person whose blood pressure rises when I see O'Reilly...sometimes I wonder if he's taking the piss out of all of us, and is really a hippie in real life. Lol!

Sexist System...

2007-03-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...having a bit of trouble with the fact that the feds can sure enough prosecute Ms. Palfrey, but godess forbid the names of her high-profile clients come out, eh? In my estimation both sides of the issue committed a "crime" (we all know how I feel about that), but it is galling that the feds can request a gag-order for Palfrey, while dragging the lady herself through the mud. Such is the institutionalized sexism in our system. Wonder if they will get away with it. Where are all her "friends"? Who will help Ms. Palfrey? Here's the story.

Well, she's sold her records, 'parently...

Mind you, I don't think that was necessarily a wise choice on her part (discretion being the better part of valor), but perhaps she felt she had no other options...

Eleven Minutes 2

2007-02-12T16:52:00.000-08:00

Well, I finished 11 Minutes, and it was a lovely little story! Apparently based on a true story, Paulo Coelho explores prostitution through the life of a young Brazilian lady named Maria. Maria travels to Geneva to become a showgirl, and ends up working as a prostitute after her contract turns bad. Her reflexiveness is astute, and her diary entries gave the story that same magical feel we loved from The Alchemist.

I do have an issue, however, with the fact that as reflexive and introspective as she is, she never questions society's damnation of prostitution. This seems out of synch with the rest of her thought process, in which she appears to question many other issues she deals with in her journey. As a result of this unthinking acceptance of the "inherently bad" nature of prostitution, the story becomes an almost moralizing treatise on why sex for the sake of sex is bad. There are no substantial arguments or points behind this moral stance, rather, it stands alone unchallenged; as a result, she at times seems to feel properly chastised for her choices.

Clearly, I do not share Maria's thoughts on this issue. This blind acceptance of something as inherently "bad" with no substantial support is why the whore stigma remains so terribly prevalent today. When a person points a finger at a woman and calls into question her sexual choices, that person is perpetuating the whore stigma. The accused then instantly tries to convince her accuser that she is a "good girl," distancing herself from the (imagined) implications of her behavior (thereby perpetuating the stigma herself). It is a knee-jerk reaction, and all women, at some point, have experienced this form of societal "discipline." We are properly kept in our place by the whore stigma.

One can see this in any part of the sex industry, too- women use this stigma to enforce class/position heirarchies. The topless dancers look down on the nude dancers, who look down on the peep-show performers, who look down on escorts, who look down on prostitutes, who look down on street workers. This system is reinforced every day- should one dancer get too close to a customer, the others label her "whore." She will then proceed to try to distance herself from whatever (perceived) action she took to garner the label, and try to shake off the label any way she can.

For example, Paris Hilton- because she dared to appear in a home video depicting her sexual exploits- has been trashed across the media. Does anyone even know the name of the man she appeared in this video with? Has his reputation or character been called into question for his sexual choices? Of course not. The whore stigma is saved especially for women (and especially perpetuated by them). Behave, or you are vulnerable to censure.

But what would happen if women decided to disallow the whore stigma from bothering them? What if, instead of, "Oh no- I'm not like that," she were to say, "So what?" The stigma would lose its power- the power to discipline and control women's sexuality.

Once when I was leaving a night club, a woman walking out after me shouted out "You whore!" I don't know what made me think to say this, but I simply turned around, smiled, and said, "And I am very good at it!"

A Very Sad Day

2007-01-31T01:33:00.000-08:00

I am very, very sad today after having just learned that Ms. Britton has been found hanged in her home. She allegedly committed suicide.

From this* article:

"Her death underscores an important question: Was the public benefited at all by the resources spent on her arrest and prosecution?" her attorney, Christopher Flohr, wrote in a statement. "As we ponder the apparent senselessness of her passing, we must openly wonder about the purpose, necessity and utility of a criminal justice system that seeks to punish a person rather than to heal them."

I am so sad.

Brandi, may your death not have been in vain. May we wake up and understand that persecution of women for sexual autonomy is a travesty.

*Link to story Former professor's tumultuous life ends with suicide: http://www.scapa-lv.org/news.htm

Eleven Minutes

2007-01-30T02:25:00.000-08:00

I just began reading a fab little book by Paulo Coelho called Eleven Minutes. I think I am going to love this little adventure!

Public Resources Wasted on Prostitution Stings

2006-11-06T13:13:00.000-08:00

I let my blog go for over a year because I just never thought I would have the time to post often. Amazingly people found me and linked to me. Wow! This blogging community is far smaller than I imagined. I still haven't been very public about this space and I don't think I will be. It is nice that only a couple of people know I'm here.

I was speaking with a neighbor the other night and we were discussing the amount of waste that goes into prosecuting the sex industry. Remember the teacher in Baltimore who was arrested for prostitution? Imagine how much crime is going on in Baltimore- violent crime- and how much money it took for the police to investigate and arrest this woman. Well, an article on that very subject recently appeared in response to increases in stings being carried out in the Baltimore area.

A quote from the article:

"In 2005, police officers across the state of Maryland arrested more people on prostitution charges (1,898) than they did on charges of forcible rape (418), arson (572) and various other sex offenses (1,312). Howard police are on pace to triple their prostitution arrests this year. They’ve locked up 52 people, including Britton, on charges of prostitution this year, compared to 18 in all of 2005."

I suppose one of these days some mother will finally get upset when her
daughter's murder has been pushed to one side because the available police are
too busy pursuing "criminals" like Ms. Britton.

From another article on the case:

“I counted 11 officers at one point,” Britton says. “They were armed. Their faces were covered. They had automatic weapons, and they were shouting, ‘Down! Clear!’ They dumped out every drawer, everywhere. I was visibly shaken because there were 10 guys with machine guns.
“They started taking dishes and just throwing them on the floor and
destroying them. They said, ‘Are you going to tell us that you’re a prostitute?’
I said, ‘I’m not, and I want an attorney.’ ”

ELEVEN cops?? Face masks?? Automatic weapons?

Go get 'em, tough guys!

A different kind of male violence against sex workers

2005-08-08T16:04:00.000-07:00

Feminism is really an interesting animal. There are so many people- both women and men- who identify as feminists. I think it is very telling that there are a group of men who identify as feminists, and yet in their activism would deny a sex worker her right to agency. They have teamed up with (and perhaps influence) a group of women who are decidedely anti-heterosexual sex "feminists," and together they seem to be on a crusade to eliminate sex work- and the whole idea of transactional sex- from the planet.

I posted the following in response to this discussion:

I think it is wonderful that you were able to handle what they were throwing at you. Thank you, on behalf of all of us. There aren't enough of us willing to place ourselves in these uncomfortable and often confrontational situations.

Which brings me to my point: I find it very ironic that it was a conference against violence against women, and yet they were so verbally and emotionally abusive of you. That is violence too. Perhaps like George Orwell would say, some women are more equal than others.
I believe it has to do very much with maintaining patriarchy. I deeply feel that men everywhere- even those who patronize us- are terrified of the freedoms women are taking with their sexuality because they know it signals the end of patriarchy. For centuries- no- millenia- sexuality has been one of the most effective areas of social control, particularly for keeping women in their place (both figuratively and literally). By some twist of semantics and philosophy the anti-sex women out there have commandeered the name "feminist" for themselves, when by all analyses, they are anything but when it comes to women who decide how to negotiate their sexuality for themselves.

But the good thing in all of this is that, like the global male-dominant geopolitical paradigm, we see it thrashing about like a dying fish. I think it will get worse as it gasps for its last breath, but the end of it is near, and there is a new, much more female-oriented and peaceful paradigm on the horizon.

Flesh

2005-08-03T18:56:00.000-07:00

Whew! Nice to see this is still anonymous for now.

Recently I was thinking about the way men on review boards percieve women who offer their time for public consumption. When I began as Holly, I perused many of the main boards, and inevitably got the heebeejeebees. There seemed to be a culture which had grown around these boards: The men were looking for the best POA for the money, and the women were stumbling over themselves trying to provide it. Eww.

After reflecting on my experience as an online courtesan, I have been exploring some of the conclusions I am tempted to draw. One being that men who spend a lot of time on those boards seem to be vastly different from the men who pursue my companionship. The former seem to want to find a warm piece of flesh with which to spend an hour at the best possible gift structure, while the latter tend to want to spend quality time with a nice lady over dinner.

Reading reviews on those boards posted by these distinctly two seperate sets of men also points to my conclusion. The type of men who pursue courtesans tend to write prosaically about the experience, concentrating on feelings and sensuality, while the men who pursue hourly flesh tend to write more about the experience as if it were about getting your car serviced.

Just thoughts.

My Very First Blog Post

2005-07-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...what to say....

I feel like someone has just handed me the microphone and put me on the spot.

I never intended to have a blog, as there are so many wonderful ones already out there. However, there is something very liberating about being given a space in which to express myself in any way I choose.

I have no idea how regularly I will be posting here, but meanwhile I will attempt to make it interesting for anyone who happens to stumble across my little blog here.

My challenge will be maintaining my anonymity...by avoiding posting too many personal details. The temptation is to use this space as a platform to promulgate my ideas about sexual liberation and sex workers' rights, as well as some experiences I have along the way. In my real life, I am also a sex workers' rights activist, so often my two worlds collide.

We shall see what happens...

Meanwhile, go forth and be love.